My Husband Is Addicted to Painkillers and Won't Admit It: What You Can Do, and What Actually Works

Misuse means taking more than the prescribed dose, taking it more often, using it to get high, or taking someone else’s pills. Any of these raises the risk of addiction and overdose.

That is the National Library of Medicine’s definition. It covers prescription opioids such as oxycodone and hydrocodone, and it applies even when the pills began as a real prescription for real pain.

Opioid use disorder is the medical name for the addiction that can follow. It means a problematic pattern of use that causes significant distress or problems in daily life. It is a medical condition, not a character flaw, and it is treatable.

Source: Opioids and Opioid Use Disorder, MedlinePlus, National Library of Medicine.

CRAFT, or Community Reinforcement and Family Training, teaches family members how to encourage treatment without confrontation. In a randomized trial with families of people using drugs, most of the loved ones entered treatment.

The trial worked with 90 family members of people who used illicit drugs and refused treatment. With CRAFT alone, 58.6 percent of the loved ones entered treatment. With CRAFT plus follow-up group sessions, it was 76.7 percent. With a program that pointed families toward Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, it was 29 percent.

The study looked at illicit drug use, not painkillers alone, but the method is the same. Families learn to reward sober behavior, step back from rescuing, and suggest treatment at the right moments. The husband won’t admit a drinking problem page covers CRAFT for alcohol.

Source: A randomized trial of two methods for engaging treatment-refusing drug users through concerned significant others, Meyers et al., Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 2002.

Stopping suddenly is rarely dangerous in itself, but the withdrawal is miserable. The bigger danger is the overdose risk once he has stopped.

The National Library of Medicine describes withdrawal as very uncomfortable but not usually life threatening. It also warns that most opioid overdose deaths happen in people who have just detoxed. Their tolerance drops, so a dose they used to take can now kill.

That is why stopping works best with medical help and a plan for what comes next. Detox treats the withdrawal, and medication such as buprenorphine or methadone is often part of staying stopped. The opioid detox medications page explains the options.

Source: Opiate and opioid withdrawal, MedlinePlus, National Library of Medicine.

You can call Briarwood without him. Admissions answers 24 hours a day, and a spouse asking what detox involves, what insurance covers, and what to say is an ordinary call.

If he agrees to come, Briarwood’s inpatient centers in Austin and Houston have a nurse on site 24 hours a day and a physician on call. Most stays last five to seven days. The medical team chooses and adjusts any withdrawal medicine, and a counselor works with him on the next step before he leaves.

If he has signed a release naming you, staff can keep you informed during the stay. The family visits and calls page explains how that works, and a free benefit check takes about two minutes.