Briarwood Detox Center — Step 9 worksheet
Step 9 worksheet — making amends without causing new harm
Step 9 asks you to go to the people on your Step 8 list and make it right — except where doing so would harm them or someone else.
The exception in this step is not a loophole, and it is not yours to decide alone. Work every one of these through with your sponsor before you knock on a door, send a message, or transfer money.
One person at a time
Print a sheet per person. Rushing this step is how people cause the harm twice.
Who:
What I am making amends for — the specific harm, not a general apology:
What would actually repair it, in their terms rather than mine:
What I want out of this (be honest — forgiveness? relief? to be told it was fine?):
The harm check
Would contact expose someone else, reopen something they have closed, or put anyone at risk? If yes, the amends changes shape — it does not disappear.
Who else would be affected if I did this?
Is there anything they do not know that this would tell them?
What did my sponsor say when I asked?
If direct contact is wrong here, what will I do instead?
Afterwards
What happened — what did they actually say?
What am I owed by them? (The answer is nothing. Write down how that sits.)
What is left to do?
Before you put this away
A worksheet is a way to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. It is not the step. Step 9 is worked with a sponsor, a counselor, or someone else who has done it — they will see things in these pages that you cannot see yourself.
Who am I going to show this to, and when?
What did I leave off these pages because I did not want to write it down?
This worksheet is provided free by Briarwood Detox Center for personal reflection. It is not medical advice, and it is not affiliated with or endorsed by Alcoholics Anonymous. Work it with a sponsor or counselor. If you need help right now, call (866) 710-7710. If you have thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 in an emergency.